"Why Indonesia?"

                “Why Indonesia?” is the first question that most people ask when I tell them that I have accepted a position as an English Teacher in Jakarta.

                “Why not?” is really the only answer I have prepared.

                Why Indonesia?  Because I can’t take one more day sitting at a dull desk answering dull calls and watching the clock.  Why Indonesia?  Because I need to teach; I need to stand in front of a group of students and impart my knowledge.  I need to watch them grow and learn. 

                Why Indonesia?  Because I return home every night and close my door and retreat to my apartment, where I never admire the outside world or see the beauty in the Earth.

                I know that there a million answers to the question, “Why Indonesia?” just as there are a million answers to the question, “Why not?”  I guess what it boils down to is the fact that I am 33, single, and have nothing holding me here.  If I don’t go now, I never will.  My brother’s response was, “See you in a month,” and while that stung a little, I realized the toll that my moves have put on my family.  If there is a valid, “Why not?” this is it. 

                I hate having to explain to Aunt Joann that I will be leaving again.  I hate knowing that my best friend will be literally halfway across the world.  I hate that my brother will worry about me (even though he would probably deny that).  I hate that I could be wrong and I hate that I may want to come back right away.  I know all these things.  But I also remember John telling me that I needed to keep trying until I got it right.  That’s what I’m doing. 

                So, when you ask, “Why Indonesia?” and all I do is give you a blank stare, this is why.  I can’t quite put my answer into words.  I only know that it is where I need to be right now.