That post about how I’m an introvert…and how did I get a blood blister on my hammertoe?

It’s Monday evening, so a week ago at this time (ignore the time difference in my math for a more compelling memory) I was entering O’Hare airport, about to board a flight to Singapore with a layover in Dubai.  I was surprisingly calm, which is funny because right now I have tears in my eyes wishing that my little brother was still just a phone call away – no Skype, no Whatsapp, etc.

If anything, I was looking forward to some “me” time.  24 hours of flying where I didn’t have to talk to anyone.  36 hours in Singapore where I didn’t have to talk to anyone.  It’s true; I used to go weeks without talking to John or Aunt Joann, but they were always there.

I’m an introvert.  No secrets about that.  I have some extrovert tendencies, like that I have a Type A personality and can speak in front of large groups, but the bottom line is that I’m an introvert.  It’s nothing against you, but I will count the minutes until the check arrives at dinner and we can retreat to our respective vehicles – each minute between that last bite and the credit card swipe is holding me hostage.  Of course I love you and I want to know how you are, but not now.  I will pretend like I didn’t hear the phone ring.  I will never just send you to voicemail because that’s rude.  I’ll just pretend like it must be someone else’s phone (and how rude that they don’t silence it!).  I will say I want to see you, and I genuinely do, but I will cancel last minute.  Like I said, it’s nothing against you.

I know what it means to feel alone in a room full of people.  I look forward to parties where I know there will be pets, because there’s no one I’d rather talk to at a party than your golden retriever.  Hell, I’ll settle for your goldfish.  At some point, I’ll make a big deal about getting something out of my car and then disappear for the rest of the evening. 

If anything, being in a foreign country with a language barrier is great for my introversion because I can just blend in (as much as a white girl with blonde hair and blue eyes can really blend in, which is not at all).  Still, I don’t have any social obligations.  I did make a couple of ex-pat friends before arriving, but I don’t feel as though I am being rude by not reaching out at this point.

So what do I miss (besides, of course, my family)?  Television.  Introverts love clearly defined relationships with rules and barriers and limits.  I’m not worried about the Dunphys dropping by unannounced or an uncomfortable phone call with Dr. Mindy Laheeri.  I know that after half an hour, my friends will go away – no uncomfortable goodbyes or hugging – and I won’t have to see them for a week.  This, in fact, makes me want to see them more.  I love binge-watching episodes, breaking my own rules and boundaries with characters who don’t know any better.  I love the principle of OnDemand and DVR, which allows me to change the limits at any time.  It’s convenient.

So, here I am in Jakarta, and I think, “Great, I can watch all of my latest episodes on ABC and NBC and Fox.”  And I gather my computer, find my headphones, and walk 15 minutes to the nearest Starbucks because I know that the internet at my Kost will not accommodate streaming video. 

Except for that I forgot my headphones.  Damn.  But wait, my Bluetooth!  It will suck, but I can cover my ears and figure out how to link it to my Mac.  Oh, and except for that, much like Netflix, the major networks are not available in other countries.  (World-wide web my ass.)  So I try Hulu.  Amazon.  Nada.  The government has even blocked Pirate Bay because of the porn (not, ironically, because of the stealing).  Finally, I come across a subscription fix/country override for Hulu, and I think “worth it!” and I subscribe. 

And there, in all her glory, is my friend Rayna James.  For about 30 seconds.  And there she is again!  And there she isn’t.

This, mind you, is almost 4 hours later.  The connection at Starbucks is just too sucky for streaming video. 

So, if anyone can download copies of Modern Family, Nashville, Parenthood, Big Bang Theory, and The Mindy Project, then figure out some way to get them to me that doesn’t involve streaming or mail, I’d be eternally grateful.  PLEASE.

Also, how does one get a blood blister inside of the callus on one’s hammertoe?